You’ve heard the term before-maybe in a movie, a joke with friends, or even in a text message. But what does a booty call actually mean in 2025? It’s not just a slang phrase from the 2000s. It’s still alive, evolving, and part of how many adults navigate intimacy without the pressure of romance. And yes, it’s more common than you think.
What Is a Booty Call, Really?
A booty call is when someone reaches out-usually late at night, sometimes after a few drinks-not to talk, not to plan a date, but to ask for sex. No expectations. No future. Just physical connection, on demand. It’s not dating. It’s not a relationship. It’s a transaction, but one built on mutual understanding, not money.
Think of it like this: you know someone. You’ve hung out before. You’ve flirted. Maybe you’ve kissed. But you’re not exclusive. You’re not planning weekend trips. You’re not introducing them to your family. You’re not texting good morning. But you do text ‘you up?’ at 1 a.m. And they reply ‘yeah, come over.’ That’s a booty call.
It’s not about loneliness. It’s not always about desperation. Sometimes, it’s just about wanting to feel close without the emotional weight. And in a world where dating apps have turned romance into a swipe-based game, some people find this kind of arrangement simpler, clearer, and less exhausting.
Why Do People Use Booty Calls?
People don’t do this because they can’t find love. They do it because they’ve tried love-and it didn’t fit.
Take Sarah, 31, from Bristol. She works long hours in marketing. She’s single, not looking to settle down. She’s had relationships that ended because she felt smothered. Now, she has two guys she texts when she wants to be touched. No drama. No ‘where is this going?’ No ghosting after three weeks. Just sex, sometimes a snack, and a goodnight text. She says it’s the most honest arrangement she’s ever had.
For others, it’s about timing. Maybe they’re recovering from a breakup. Maybe they’re traveling. Maybe they’re just not in the mood for dates that feel like job interviews. A booty call removes the performance. No need to impress. No need to be ‘on.’ Just be.
Studies from the University of Cambridge in 2024 found that 42% of adults aged 25-39 in the UK have engaged in at least one booty call in the past year. Most said they preferred it to dating apps because there was less ambiguity. No mixed signals. No emotional whiplash.
How Is It Different From Casual Dating or Hookups?
People mix these up all the time. Let’s break it down:
- Hookup: A one-time thing. Maybe you met at a bar. You kissed. You went home together. You never saw each other again. No follow-up. No texting.
- Casual dating: You see each other occasionally. Maybe once a week. You might go for coffee, watch a movie, or hang out. Sex happens, but so does conversation. There’s some level of emotional connection.
- Booty call: No pre-planning. No dates. No ‘what are we doing this weekend?’ It’s a text. A yes. A visit. Done. No emotional investment required.
Booty calls are transactional in the purest sense. You’re not building a friendship. You’re not testing compatibility. You’re not trying to find ‘the one.’ You’re just satisfying a physical need-with someone you already know.
Is It Safe? What About Boundaries?
Here’s the truth: booty calls can be safe-or they can go sideways fast. It all comes down to boundaries.
Clear communication is everything. If you’re going to do this, you need to talk about it-before it happens. Not during. Not after. Before.
Ask yourself:
- Do we both agree this is just sex?
- Will we avoid emotional manipulation?
- Will we respect each other’s other relationships?
- Will we use protection?
- Will we stop if one of us feels uncomfortable?
One of the biggest risks? One person starts to feel something. That’s not cheating. It’s human. But if you didn’t agree to emotional involvement, it can hurt. That’s why many people set rules: no ‘I miss you’ texts. No cuddling after. No meeting friends. No calling during the day.
Some people use a ‘no contact’ rule between calls. Others keep it strictly late-night. Others avoid it entirely if they’re in a relationship. There’s no one-size-fits-all. But ignoring boundaries? That’s how resentment builds.
Who’s Doing This in the UK in 2025?
It’s not just college kids or partygoers. It’s professionals. Parents. People in long-term relationships who want something separate. People who’ve been burned by love.
In Bristol, Nottingham, Manchester, and London, it’s becoming a quiet norm. Not talked about at dinner parties, but whispered in group chats. A 2025 survey by UK Dating Insights found that 1 in 5 adults aged 28-40 have had a consistent booty call arrangement lasting more than six months. Most said they kept it private because they feared judgment.
And here’s something surprising: women are just as likely to initiate as men. In fact, in 58% of cases surveyed, the woman sent the first text. The old stereotype-that men want it and women don’t-is outdated. People want connection, on their own terms.
When Does a Booty Call Become a Problem?
It’s not wrong to have one. But it can become unhealthy if:
- You’re using it to avoid loneliness instead of addressing it.
- You’re lying to yourself about your feelings.
- You’re doing it because you think you ‘can’t have love’-not because you choose it.
- You’re hiding it from a partner who expects monogamy.
- You’re feeling guilty, ashamed, or anxious after.
It’s not the act that’s the issue. It’s the emotional cost. If you’re not at peace with it, it’s not serving you.
One man in Leeds told me: ‘I thought I was being smart by keeping it casual. But after six months, I realized I was just scared to try dating again. The booty call was a shield.’ He ended it. Started therapy. Now he’s on a real date next week.
How to Set Up a Healthy Booty Call
If you’re thinking about trying this, here’s how to do it without regret:
- Choose someone you already know. Not a stranger from an app. Someone you’ve hung out with before. Less risk of miscommunication.
- Have the talk. Say: ‘I’m not looking for anything serious. If you’re okay with that, we can do this. If not, no hard feelings.’
- Agree on boundaries: frequency, communication style, physical safety.
- Use protection. Always. No exceptions.
- Check in every few weeks. ‘Still good?’ is a simple, powerful question.
- Know when to walk away. If one of you starts wanting more, be honest. End it kindly.
It’s not rocket science. It’s just respect.
Booty Call vs. Friends With Benefits
People confuse these two. Here’s the difference:
| Aspect | Booty Call | Friends With Benefits |
|---|---|---|
| Frequency | Irregular. Often spontaneous. | Regular. Often weekly or biweekly. |
| Communication | Minimal. Mostly text. No small talk. | More. You might text during the day, hang out casually. |
| Emotional Involvement | Low to none. Strictly physical. | Some. You might share feelings, laugh, be there for each other. |
| Duration | Usually short-term. A few weeks to months. | Can last years. Some turn into long-term arrangements. |
| Public Knowledge | Usually kept secret. | Sometimes known to close friends. |
Booty calls are about efficiency. Friends with benefits are about comfort. One is a quick fix. The other is a slow-burn arrangement.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is a booty call cheating?
It depends. If you’re in a monogamous relationship and your partner doesn’t know about it, yes-it’s cheating. If you’re single, or in an open relationship and both parties agreed, then no. Honesty is the only rule that matters.
Can a booty call turn into a relationship?
Sometimes. But it’s risky. Most people enter these arrangements to avoid relationships. If feelings start to develop, it’s better to pause and talk than to pretend nothing changed. Many relationships have started this way-but many more have ended in heartbreak because expectations weren’t aligned.
Are booty calls only for young people?
No. People in their 40s and 50s do this too. Especially those who’ve been through divorce, loss, or long-term relationships. For many, it’s a way to reconnect with their sexuality without the pressure of romance. Age doesn’t matter. Clarity does.
Should I tell my friends about my booty call?
Only if you’re okay with gossip. Most people keep it private-not because they’re ashamed, but because it’s personal. If you share it, you’re giving others permission to judge you. Decide if that’s worth it.
Is it okay to have more than one booty call?
Yes-if everyone involved knows and agrees. But it gets complicated fast. Managing multiple arrangements requires emotional discipline. Most people find it easier to stick with one. Less stress. Less risk of overlap or accidental discovery.
How do I end a booty call without hurting feelings?
Be direct but kind. Say something like: ‘I’ve really enjoyed this, but I’m not looking to keep it going anymore. I value our connection, and I hope we can still hang out as friends-if you’re okay with that.’ Most people appreciate honesty. The ones who don’t? They weren’t respecting your boundaries anyway.
Final Thought
A booty call isn’t a failure. It’s not a sign you’re broken. It’s just another way people are trying to connect-on their own terms. In a world full of pressure to be ‘perfect’ partners, sometimes the most honest thing you can do is say: ‘I just want this. Nothing more. Nothing less.’
If you’re doing it with awareness, respect, and clear boundaries, it’s not wrong. It’s just human.